By Naomi Rubinstein, Counsellor

DAY 3: Say thank you. 

“A thriving relationship requires a thriving culture of appreciation between partners”. 

It’s not hard to find the negative, if that’s what we’re looking for.  

Decide today to start looking for what’s right, not what’s wrong and when you notice it, comment on it! It’s not enough to just think it, we can’t read each other’s minds. 

For example: It could be as simple as saying; “Thank you for checking in with me today to see how my meeting went, I felt cared for and was touched that you remembered”. 

Doctors John and Julie Gottman recommend “putting a moratorium on criticism”.  

TIP: When we find negatives, put a hold on expressing discontent out loud, “Don’t let the words that appear in your brain sift down and come out of your mouth. Just let them fall away unsaid, like sand spilling through your fingers”.  

If after time has passed, it is still important, discuss it calmly at an appropriate time.  

Remember to use “I” statements.  

When I see/hear….. 

I feel….. 

I need …… (a positive request)